Bruins Management - "We've found Oleg!"

A source close to Boston Bruins management reported that Oleg Saprykin has been found - alive - in Beacon, New York.

"A call came in from an acquaintance of our General Manager that Oleg was hanging out and making the strip club rounds under the name of 'Robbie Ftorek'. Not a good cover, since Robbie is known all throughout New England as being a cheap bastard, but it was working for him so far. This friend told our General Manager about Ftorek, claiming to have been a Bruins fan in her younger days.

"A couple of interns were dispatched to New York and verified the man was Saprykin. They called both the Bruins management and Saprykin's agent to report the confirmed sighting, and notified authorities he had been found alive so they could call off the investigation. What will happen from here... I don't know."

This is still unconfirmed with an official statement, but is looking likely as a drive-by past Saprykin's apartment revealed that the police watch had been called off.