Bruins hold shooting practice
The Boston Bruins were punished with leaden sticks and dull skates for their morning practice.
"As a result of your pisspoor offensive outputs lately," GM Joshua Anderson screamed via teleconference from Luxembourg. "I've told the coaching staff to work your sorry asses like dogs! You will practice, practice, then practice some more! For the love of freakin god, SHOOT THE DAMNED PUCK! This twenty and twenty-two shot crap has to stop - you're not that freakin good to take so few shots."
Coach Robbie Ftorek worked the Bruins for nearly six hours in the practice facility, until all had collapsed to the ice under the crushing weight of the leaden sticks - literally. Ftorek and the staff had attached lead donuts to the bases of the sticks to up the weights by as much as ten pounds.
"This should increase their shooting speed," Ftorek explained. "When they go back on the ice and are swinging lighter sticks, they should get more oomph behind them... we hope."
The Bruins visit Toronto tomorrow night, which should prove out if the theory worked or not.
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