Despondent GM Talked off Window Ledge

GM David Burns of the New York Rangers was pulled off a ledge outside the Air Canada Centre last night shortly after a short handed goal by Henrik Sedin put his team down 3-1 in the second period.

The Rangers had scored early in the second period to pull within one of the Maple Leafs but a complete blunder by Fedor Tyutin handed a 2 man breakaway to Sedin and Kaberle. The two made several passes before Sedin tapped the puck into the net.

Burns was seen screaming in the press box and stormed from the room ranting and raving about "ending it all." His whereabouts were unknown for half an hour until a crowd that gathered outside the Air Canada Centre below the ledge on which he was standing drew attention . Police and fire crews soon showed up.

"What do I have to?!" Burns was heard screaming. "I brought in a goalie didn't I? I've got solid depth don't I? I've got snipers, I've got some solid defencemen, why why WHY can't they even approach .500 hockey?"

After talking to a police psycholigist for several hours Burns finally relented came back inside to safety under the premise that several concerned GMs had called and offered him some star talent cheap. When this turned out to be false he charged for the roof and had to brought down with a tranquilizer dart.

As he passed out he mumbled "Orpik......Kloucek....Tyutin...Duhnam available....for....vetran defenceman...."