Turek Takes Night Job in Male Strip Club?

After being on the injured list for seven games, GM Schmucky was beginning to worry about his veteran netminder's health. After being examined by Dr. Nick, the unlicensed team doctor of the Senators but the only one they could afford, it was determined that he was in perfect health, he was just exhausted.

GM Schmucky even hired a private investigator to track the tired tender for 2 days but the investigator found nothing suspicious and GM Schmucky fired the dumb bastard for sleeping on the job.

However, the mystery was solved when Mrs. GM Schmucky went out for a night on the town. Being extremely dissatisfied in the sack due to her husband having to be constantly working to keep his Senators afloat and please the Commish who, after placing immense demands on his GM's to keep the league active is apparently missing on a "DRINKING BINGE" in the down under; do they even have real beer down there? Who knows? Anyways, Mrs. Schmucky was placing thousand dollar bills in G-Strings when, out of the DJ booth crawled none other than Roman Turek, cigarette in hand and hoes by his side.

When asked about the reasoning behind becoming a nudie bar DJ, Roman said, "This damn GM isn't paying me enough to live on. I needed the extra cash and had to take on a job where I'd rarely be seen." When asked why he chose a Male Strip club rather than a female one Turek refused to comment.

So, needless to say, Fred Brathwaite will get his 8th straight start as the smoking, drunkard of a starting goalie begins his rehab. However, Turek will be the backup because Schmucky says that "IT's not like we have anyone better than a drunk Turek. Our team is shit for depth."

Ok............