Stephen Hawking Says Rangers in Trouble

In assessing their odds of making the playoffs the Rangers spared no expense and brought in master mathematician and phyisicist Stephen Hawking to do some hard number crunching.

"You're in big trouble," said Stephen Hawking after one glance at the Rangers upcoming schedule. He then proceeded to explain the elasticity of time in such a simplistic and mind bending fashion that Rangers' GM and several other workers in management had to be hospitalized.

When the ensuing chaos finally calmed down Hawking went on to explain why the road ahead will be difficult for the Rangers.

With 25 games left the Rangers have an incredible 48% of their upcoming games against teams with a record of higher than .550.

Even more worrisome is the fact that they play 7 games against the Islanders, Panthers, and Sharks. Those 3 teams are all well above .600.

Add to this fact that the Rangers play 64% of their remaining 25 games against teams currently playing .500 or better and one begins to think that the playoffs may not be a foregone conclusion for this plucky team.

"I don't pay attention to that kind of crap," said the always crusty Espen Knutsen. "We go out there to win every game every night. Get into this mathematical nonsenese and you can convince anyone of anything. Who the hell is Stephen Hawking anyway?"

There are no reports as to the health of the Rangers GM as of the moment.