Rangers Move Youngster

The New York Rangers dealt highly touted youngster Pontus Petterstrom to the Predators for Peter Polcik last night.

Rumours of Petterstrom's maniacal sexual habits had been rippling across the league ever since Petterstrom was arrested at a midget fetish bar in January. He was then spotted at a famous brothel in Nashville and had settled out of court with a zookeeper who said he was assaulted when he tried to prevent Petterstrom from entering the baboons cage. A former team mate who wished to remain nameless was quoted as saying "He's the only guy I've ever rub vaseline all over his body before a game."

GM Burns announced the trade at a press conference immediately after the deal was done. "Today we made a deal we feel improved our team in the short and longterm. Um....We'll...ah...miss Pontus," he said. "He was...unique. Thank you."