San Jo-ly crap!

If you were told that the first period of a game featured seven penalties, including four for fighting, and the second period included another pair for fighting... you'd expect it was a game ugly on a Charlize Theron-in-"Monster" level, right?

In the case of the Providence-Sharklings game, you'd be correct.

With almost fifty minutes of penalties, the most amazing thing is there were NONE in the third period.

Ivan Huml opened the scoring ninety seconds into the game, showing Patrick Ehelechner how things are done East Coast style. Unfortunately, in doing so, he antagonized the Sharklings into displaying a West Coast Clinic.

Both Shaone Morrison and Mark McRae and Darren McLachlan and Mike Jefferson fought to draws in the period, to the chargin of the blood-thirsty crowd, but Michal Pinc satisfied them some with a sweeping goal past Brock Hooten at 08:44. Three and a half minutes later, Mike Bishai used almost the exact same move to give the Sharklings the lead they would never relinquish.

Following intermission and a Pierre-Luc Edmond roughing penalty, the Sharklings added a third goal on a Mike Jefferson power play effort at 04:39. Both sides settled down - scoring wise - after that until Brad Schell tipped in a skipping Dennis Wideman pass at 16:34 to make the score 4-2. The anger began to boil after that, as Andreas Valdix beat down Roman Vopat to the point of injury less than a minute later.

Amazingly, whatever was said in the second intermission stopped the craziness. Martin Samuellson and Ivan Huml bookended another Mike Bishai goal to close the gap, but wouldn't do any more than make losers of winners in Vegas.

Martin St. Pierre would add one last goal, now off Davis Parley, for the final tally of 6-3. Once again, 10,000 home town fans went home happy.

Promotion "a success", says Fleet Bank

Shaun O'Harp, Vice President of Promotions for Fleet, called "Fifty Cent Beer, Ten Dollar Fee" night a "rousing success" for Fleet Bank and "the fans of Boston Bruins hockey."

"We were quite pleased with the results of last night," O'Harp said. "With nearly twenty-one thousand gallons of beer sold, the fans clearly were able to enjoy themselves cheaply. And we were able to collect what we would call a good number of ATM fees for those who did not plan ahead with cash. It truly was a win-win for all, and we look forward to working with the Bruins again for another promotion."

Asked what this meant for Raycroft Fan Club night, O'Harp did not directly answer. "Obviously, we're slightly disappointed we could not capitalize on his fine performance, but the overall gains were worth it for us. Time will tell about the Razor Crew."

Fans go home broke, drunk, happy

After postponing Andrew Raycroft's "Razor Club" night for "Fifty Cent Beer, Ten Dollar ATM Fee" Night, the Boston Bruins welcomed a near-packed house that amazingly saw no destruction... except to the ego of Brent Johnson.

The fans saw Andrew Raycroft stop twenty-three of twenty-six shots faced, leading to loud cheers and a "Ray-croft" chant from the increasingly drunk crowd in the second period, as he stopped thirteen of fourteen shots faced.

The game got off to a rough start for Raycroft, though, as he gave up an early goal to Sheldon Keefe just one and a half minutes into the game. Keith Tkachuk returned the favor less than five minutes later, though, putting it in Johnson's five hole to tie the game.

The Bruins attack continued a minute and a half later as Shawn McEachern scored just his eighth goal of the year off a Michal Sykora assist to give the home club the lead. The beer continued to flow, and the red light spin, when Martin Havlat scored his twentieth goal of the year and first of the game off a Tkachuk touch pass with just under four minutes remaining in the period to give the first intermission score of 3-1.

The second period was relatively quiet, meaning it got even rowdier in the stands. As there was little scoring and almost no hitting, fans continued to trek for the fifty cent beers. Andrew Raycroft went and got one mentally in the last few minutes, as Sergei Samsanov put the puck around him with only twenty-two seconds left to close the score to 3-2.

In the third, Keith Tkachuk continued his recent outburst, scoring on the power play at 08:29 following a Brent Sopel boarding penalty. It was second goal of the game and his third multi-goal game in recent weeks.

The Bruins then shifted to prevent-mode, allowing only five shots in the period. Andy McDonald tacked on an additional goal for good measure to increase the margin to 5-2. The Bruins relaxed just enough as the minutes ticked away, giving up one last goal to the Habs and Martin Podlesak for the final tally.

Sixteen thousand, eight hundred seventy-two fans consumed more than 21,000 gallons of beer - or four pints each - and drained at least seven of the nine ATMs dry, meaning a substantial number of ATM fees were paid on the night.

Who the Hell is Todd Ford?

The Providence Bruins sure as heck know Todd Ford now - he's the SonOfAGun who just shut them out in a bowling shoe ugly match-up between the Nashville Junior Predator and the Baby Bruins.

The game started off to the delight of the crowd with Jaakko Harikkala and Ben Eager fighting to a draw, which was followed by Matt Ellison bumrush charging Colton Orr, resulting in a bogus goalie interference call on Orr. Both men received two minutes of seat time for the offsetting whistles, which enraged the Providence bench.

Ten minutes later, Daniel Fernholm had leveled Jordan Sigalet, driving him from the game. The few Providence fans in attendance were not exactly crestfallen over this, but were unsure of what would happen.

The end result - a lot more penalties. At the end of the third period, Ivan Huml was penalty boxed for roughing, out of sheer furstration, which set up Jonas Nordqvist for a power play effort in the last two minutes. He connected with just eleven seconds left to seal the game for the home club.

Ten thousand fans went home happy, which is quickly becoming the Slogan for the 2006 Providence Bruins.

Bruins respond to CLUTCHPA

The Boston Bruins, through their public face, General Manager Joshua Anderson, have issued a response to CLUTCH Player's Association President Mike Modano and all their assorted lawyers.

Anderson, holding court on the ice as he likes to do sometimes, withdrew the statement from the inner pocket of his suitcoat. Slowly unfolding it, Anderson coughed once, then read slowly into the microphone -

"To the CLUTCHPA -

While we respect your right to determine what is right for the majority of your members, we do not respect your decision in regards to Oleg Saprykin. You want to use your fancy legal jargon to discuss rights and things, and that's nice.

As you put it, let me put it clearly and into Headline-Speak, since I know that is what the Players Association likes - B's say to CLUTCH-P-A... GFY"

With that, Anderson left the ice to stunned silence. Finally, Boston Herald reporter Hope Clinton began to giggle, which set the entire press corp into fits of laughter.

New York Sundin-ly Looking Like Contender

The New York Rangers added a major piece to their playoff drive puzzle last night by adding Mats Sundin to their roster. The Rangers made their second mega deal in two days with newest Ranger Sundin expected to line up with the countryman Daniel Alfredsson.

"We finally got the centre we've been hunting for the last several months," said an enthusiastic GM Burns. He continued by pounding the table loudly between each word. "We - are - happy! We - will - win - the - cup!"

When queried as to whether it was a good idea to make such a bold prediction with 20 games left and clear favourites such as the Islanders, Panthers, Predators and Sharks well ahead of them Burns settled down a little.

"Those teams are going to be tough, there's no doubt. They have tons of talent through their lineups and there are other teams out there that are solid as well. We felt we had great team chemistry, solid defence, and exceptional goaltending but we lacked game breaking scoreres. We now feel we've obtained two of those in Alfredsson and Sundin. Their experience and leadership should really be a boost come playoff time as well."

The Rangers may have completely mortgaged their future in the deal. Going to the Leafs are:
C Kamil Kreps JR (20 yrs old)
C Ryan Garlock JR (18 yrs old)
G Jason Churchill JR (18 yrs old)
RAN 1(2009)
RAN 2(2009)

"It's a boat load of youth, for sure," said Burns, "but we didn't give a player up off our pro roster so we've definately improved. We've got a great blend of age, youth, skill, experience and toughness. It's been a dream season so far and I think it is going to get better."

Brown leaves opponents black and blue

A sudden aggressive streak has taken over Sean Brown, who appears to be single-handedly trying to claim the Lay's Krunch-er of the Year Award - this month.

In the last two games, Brown has been whistled for forty-two minutes of penalties (twenty-seven and fifteen, respectively) in only sixteen minutes of ice time. He has two game misconducts to his credit in those games, which have him left a marked man by officials.

Prior to the last two games, when Brown was sitting at one hundred seventy penalty minutes in fifty-four games, or 3:09 per game. That average has obviously picked up after averaging twenty-one minutes a game, jumping to 3:47 a game currently.

There has still been no official statement from Brown or the Bruins regarding the charter plane outburst, but the recent aggression and that destructive act have left some to speculate steroids may be involved.

Victims to the warpath

Flying in to the former hometown of General Manager Joshua Anderson, the Boston Bruins were eager to get off the slide and back to their winning ways against the Blackhawks. But too hard of partying at Irish Oak, followed by a late night food hit at Allinde's on Lincoln and Fullerton, left the team woozy and with a bit of the runs - a bad combination for a hockey team playing a matinee game. With that setting, the 3-2 loss was no surprise.

Erig Boguniecki struck first for the 'Hawks, leaving Andrew Raycroft holding his head to the ice to ease the pounding at 02:36 of the first period. Nine minutes later, John Grahame had entered the game as Raycroft had contortioned himself into several sick positions to stop the offensive onslaught and could no longer move his back.

A minute later, Sean Brown earned his second consecutive game misconduct and ejection. This time, the irate defenseman played Hi, Stick! with Todd Simpson's helmet. A fifteen minute penalty assessment went with Brown's staggering five minutes of ice time, giving him forty-two minutes in the last two games.

The Blackhawks struck first again in the opening of the second period. Petr Sykora - not to be confused with the Bruins' counterpart, Peter Sykora - beat Grahame at 01:29 of the period with a beautifully Scott Gomez set-up goal that just left Grahame lost. The Bruins got one back four-and-a-half minutes later when Jochan Hecht led an offensive charge with Tim Connolly, beating Dan Cloutier gloveside.

Once again in the third period, the Bruins started out sluggish and ceded an early goal to the home club. This time, it was Ivan Kolozvary scoring unassisted at 02:35. The Bruins took full advantage of a Todd Simpson hooking whistle, as Pierre Turgeon set up Keith Tkachuk for his sixteenth goal of the year and another power play effort with just twenty seconds left in the effort.

Unfortunately for the visitors, that would be the end of their connecting with the back of the net, as the final horn sounded to mark a 3-2 loss, the fourth consecutive loss of the road trip. The team will now slug home to welcome the Montreal Canadiens.

Promotion Postponed

After Andrew Raycroft was lit up by the Carolina Hurricanes, Fleet Bank has postponed the upcoming "Razor Crew" promotion planned for the next home game versus Montreal.

Shaun O'Harp, Vice President of Promotions for Fleet, said when questioned, "Given the recent poor play of Andrew, and the turning public sentiment against him, we do not feel the funds would be effectively spent from our marketing budget in promotion of him. Instead, we have delayed the upcoming Razor Crew night in lieu of offering '50 Cent Beer, $10 ATM Fee' night. We welcome all fans to come celebrate the cheap beer and pay big ATM fees - it's win-win!"

When asked about the change, Bruins General Manager Joshua Anderson told gathered press that Fleet Bank had paid for the promotion already and supplied the t-shirts, so one way or another, they were going to be used. Andrew Raycroft had no comment, but somewhere out there, his mom cried.

Team clears Wal-Mart Bonus

The Boston Bruins received official word from Arkansas today that they had achieved the first hurdle of the Wal-Mart Scoring Bonus.

By scoring two hundred goals on the season, the team will receive a cool $1 million bonus at year-end.

General Manager Joshua Anderson, who had fought hard among upper management to apply for the bonus program, was all smiles when the call came in from Bentonville.

"We thought it would be struggle, and by no means, was it easy. We may be lacking that one premier goal scoring threat," Anderson said, "but we're pleased to have five guys who have broken the twenty-goal plateau. We feel by year end, we have a shot at four thirty goal scorers, which would be an accomplishment given our putrid offensive output at the beginning of the year."

The team anticipates using the funds towards off-season resigning bonuses.

Grainy footage, box score give legs to rumor

Footage on YouTube.com has recently popped up which give credance to the rumors that Sean Brown was respnsible for the destruction of the Boston Bruins charter flight last week.

Video footage, apparently from the cell phone of someone on the flight, has been uploaded to the popular video sharing website that shows a man - allegedly Brown - ripping the seat cushions off of a row of the plane, then pelting the younger players ahead of him with them. Ten minutes later, the player is seen chugging from several of the tiny airplane liquor servings, then trying to challenge Matt Walker to a duel with the broken bottles. When Walker accepts, Brown backs down - until Walker returns to his seat, when Brown jumps him and beats Walker with a rolled up magazine.

The footage from the plane ends as Brown was working over Walker, but then picks up with a passed out Walker on the charter bus the defensemen took from Atlanta to Raleigh. It then ends, but the bus footage provides some support that the footage came from another defensive player.

When coupled with Sean Brown's goon-like status in the following game - twenty-seven penalty minutes in only fourteen minutes of ice time - it appears Brown was clearly not himself in that stretch.

Tropical Storms depress Baby Bruins

Just days after the parent clubs squared off, the Carolina and Boston junior squads set to duel, this time in Providence.

The result would be pretty much the same, as the Durham Tropical Storms - that's right, they are not quite Hurricanes yet - got the victory, 5-1.

This game was all Durham, with the team outshooting the Baby Bruins 33-29. The first period alone saw Dion Phaneuf, Nigel Dawes, and Ryan Getzalf all score in an eight minute period, including a power play goal for Getzalf following Milan Jurcina's stupidity hooking call.

In the second period, the Hurricanes did everything notable - Andrew Peters was called for roughing, Sergei Mozyakin scored the only goal of the period, his seventeenth, to put the Tropical Storms up 4-0, and then Peters earned a second penalty for highsticking. Despite the two power play opportunities, Providence attempted only seven shots on goal.

By the final frame, the Bruins just wanted to go home. With the man advantage following Dion Phaneuf's elbowing minor at 04:20, the Bruins defense quickly gave up a shorthanded goal four seconds later, as Tomas Mojzis left Jordan Sigalet dumbfounded. While Tuuka Makela scored on the powerplay a minute later, the damage was done to the Rhode Island Center, as the Baby Bruins had fallen once again. Jordan Sigalet was hung with the loss, and hung in effigy outside the arena after allowing five goals on twenty-six shots to fall to 17-34-2.

The team waited for rioting to settle before leaving for Nashville for its next game.

Name leaked

After strict silence regarding the matter, at least one name has been leaked out of the Boston Bruins organization regarding the destroyed charter plane.

Sources on the inside of the club reported, after completing nearly three pitchers of margaritas, that defenseman Sean Brown was the one who went insane during a charter flight from Tampa Bay to Raleigh between a pair of Bruins losses.

While sources would not divulge the source of enragement that allegedly caused Brown to lose complete control, they did say they felt confidant in naming the veteran defenseman as the culprit, referencing a check issued to the charter company for almost $100,000 that was issued the day after the incident occurred - and a day before it became public knowledge. At the same time, paperwork was filed with payroll to withhold the identical amount, spread evenly, from Brown's next five paychecks.

CLUTCHPA - "B's, N-O!"

In an imminent showdown, the CLUTCH Players Association has issued an edict declaring that Oleg Saprykin can not be forced to submit to a mental health examination prior to engaging in negotiations with the Boston Bruins.

Mike Modano, President of the Players Association, after consultation with attornies, declared via a press release -

"A player has a right to negotiate independently and freely of his mental well being. We are paid to be hockey players, not to be mediators. If you have doubts regarding Oleg Saprykin's ability to play the game, release him and let the free market determine if he is worthy of playing.

By allowing an evaluation, Oleg would set a dangerous precedent that is different than a physical examination, and the Player's Association is not willing to let that occur. Furthermore, any finding, regardless of it's practicality to the issue at hand, could be used against him.

We repeat - make him an offer or let him go. Do not extend this out."

There has been no response yet from the Boston Bruins organization.

Hurricaned!

The natural disaster tour continued as the Boston Bruins arrived in Raleigh in two parts - by plane (offense and goalies) and bus (defense) - following their "incident" with an enraged defensive player in Atlanta.

The discord did not help most of the team, though, as sloppy and overly aggressive play hampered the team in their match-up with the current home-seeded Carolina Hurricanes. The team looked confused and unfamiliar with itself, particularly in the first period, which was the difference maker in the 5-3 loss.

The tone was set early on, as Lee Goren sat within the first three minutes for unsportsmanlike conduct. Cory Stillman spun Andrew Raycroft around like the goal light he set off at 07:09 for the first goal of the night and his twenty-first of the year. Four minutes later, Kyle Wellwood did the same to give the hosts a 2-0 lead they would take into the first intermission - but only after Pierre Turgeon, of all people, was whsitled for unsportsmanlike conduct.

The second period started out about the same as the first. Lee Goren was penalized for charging just one minute into the period, then the Bruins lost Fran Kaberle to a freak injury involving a shift change, the swinging bench door, and Kaberle's frank-and-beans. Kyle Wellwood later played puppet master on Andrew Raycroft, making him dance on the ice before calmly putting the puck past him for his second of the game and a 3-0 Carolina lead.

Fifteen seconds later, the anger and aggression of being piled onto a bus for countless hours unleashed a never-before-seen rage from Sean Brown. Brown delivered a near-crippling cross-check to Marian Cisar as he was preparing to leave the ice on the shift change, earning a cross-checking misconduct for the hit.

The aggression sparked some life in the Bruins, who came to life somewhat after that. Andy McDonald beat Jose Theodore to narrow the margin to two goals at 14:11, but the club once again returned the favor, giving Cory Stillman his second of the game a minute and a half later.

As soon as the puck dropped again, though, the Bruins took off. Keith Tkachuk streaked towards the net, where Andy McDonald placed the puck perfectly for him to strike past Theodore for Boston's second goal of the game at 15:56.

Once again, in the third, an early penalty was called, though this time it was against the home team, as Gordie Dwyer leveled Keith Tkachuk with a cross-check. At 06:42 of the period, Andrew Raycroft played the fool for the last time, this time giving up a goal to Marian Cisar, fed by Stillman and Dwyer. Kismet had bit the Bruins again, and they were unable to capitalize on the power play.

As Raycroft left the ice to a series of jeers, giving way to John Grahame, Sean Brown once again unveiled the Hulk-Smash personality. This time, he unloaded on Derek Meech to start a fight that it turned out, he could not and would not win. Brown was given a game misconduct for fighting, ended up injured in the fight, and managed to rack up twenty-seven penalty minutes in the game as he was carted off the ice to the raucous jeers of the crowd.

To cover the point spread, Andy McDonald added a third goal at 07:20 that meant very little else but Vegas money.

In a Pyrrhic victory, the Bruins took the top two game stars in the loss - Andy McDonald (2-1-3, +3) and Keith Tkachuk (1-2-3,+3), respectively. The team now heads to Chicago to face fellow Original Sixer, the Blackhawks.

Beware the Penguins

Earl Jackson, Franchise Savior? No one sane ever thought those words would ever be uttered... but yet, there in proof - the Pittsburgh Junior squad has been on a roll.

The team continued its winning efforts against the Providence Bruins, winning 3-2 at home in an overall vanilla game, with the difference ebing as usual for Providence - special teams. There, Pittsburgh claimed the edge, going one-for-five on the power play and killing the Bruins' only power play attempt.

Brett Nowak struck first, beating Brian Finley gloveside at 11:57 of the first period for his thirteenth goal of the year. A minute later, Colton Orr was spending private time in the Big Box for charging. Fifty seconds into the power play, Kurt Sauer sprawled out Jordan Sigalet as he attacked the net for the power play goal, tying the game at one.

A pair of high sticking and charging calls for both teams was the tone of the second period. This time, Pittsburgh struck first, as Sven Helfenstein scored at 06:32 of the period to put the home club up by a goal.

Both teams skated around in circles, occassionally firing the puck in the direction of the net, until with only five seconds left, Jake Taylor skipped a pass to Jiri Jakes in front of the net. Jakes rediverted the pass with a wrist flick, stunning Finley with the simplicity of the play as the red light spun and the period came to a close, tied at two-all.

In the third period, the Penguins just wanted it more. They spent twice as long in the Bruins zone, taking more than twice as many shots (fourteen to six). With that sort of advantage, one had to stick, and Dustin Brown was the lucky one who got to go home the hero. At 05:37 of the period, he scored the game winner, his twenty-first of the year, to give the home club a 3-2 lead it would not relinquish.

Ten thousand fans went home happy and cheered as Brian Finley claimed the top game star and his seventeenth win (17-27-4, 24 saves on 26 shots). Andrej Meszaros (0-1-1, +1) and Jiri Jakes (1-0-1, +1) claimed the second and third stars for the visitors, who head home to Providence to host the Junior Carolina Tropical Storms.

Matt Walker still available

After months of recovery and weeks of playing his way back into the lineup, Matt Walker remains available in Boston.

Walker, who has seen action in fifteen games for the Bruins following the devastating injury he suffered at the hands of the Detroit Red Wings on opening night this season, is averaging six minutes of ice time, three scored hits and four penalty minutes a game, playing only third line minutes (at most) for the Bruins. In nearly half of his games, Walker filled in as a fourth line defenseman, depending on the arrangement Head Coach Robbie Ftorek was putting on ice that night.

"We continue to be happy with the effort Matt puts forth on the nights we need him to," General Manager Joshua Anderson stated when asked about Walker's status with the club. "But, we also believe he deserves the opportunity to play should it be available to him. We're asking for no more than a fourth round pick for him, and depending on the club, would consider a fifth rounder."

Given the prices other teams are asking for mid-level defensemen, the general consensus in the organization is that the price seems fair.

Amid chaos... beauty

Despite twenty-six penalties totalling ninety-two minutes, Providence Bruins fans would call the team's matchup against the Tiny Thrashers of Atlanta a beautiful thing, as the team actually won.

After a scoreless first period, which saw eight penalties for thirty-eight minutes of seat time, was most notable for Providence allowing only two shots on goal while taking only nine, despite having almost six full minutes of power play in the period. Also of note was Jaakko Harikkala's brutal beat down of Matt Nickerson, which only set Nickerson into a fit of rage.

With Milan Jurcina sitting for a roughing misconduct, the Baby Bruins opened the second period shorthanded. True to form, though, the Tiny Thrashers eventually gooned up, and the lines were balanced at 05:26 after a hooking call on Evan Nielsen. One minute later, Kurtis Foster was blown foul for a roughing penalty, and twenty-one seconds after that, with the power play in effect, Andreas Lindstrom popped the cherry with a power play goal to take a 1-0 lead.

Less than a minute after the first goal - but after Matt Nickerson unleashed his aggression on Paul Gaustad to the point of injuring Gaustad - Rick Kozack made the clown nose spin a second time, fed by Paul Gaustad - sixteen seconds after being taken off the ice injured - at 07:30, putting Providence up 2-0 on his sixteenth goal of the year.

Eventually, both sides returned all their vagrants but Jurcina, and Atlanta took full advantage of his absence. With only nine seconds left in his twelve minute stint, Zdenek Blatney beat Jordan Sigalet like so many have before him to close the game to a one goal difference. Jurcina returned to the ice to give way to Ivan Huml, who promptly was whistled for hooking, setting up Brad Self's power play goal to knot the game at two all at the end of the second period - four power play goals, as tough as it may be to believe.

As the third period opened, Pierre-Luc Edmond near immediately attacked David Leneveu with the puck, and matched the efforts of Lindstrom and Kozack, scoring at 01:50. The goals then slammed shut, but the penalty boxes opened wide.

In the next seventeen minutes, nine penalties were called for a total of twenty-five minutes of R-n-R. Roman Vopat also got some additional alone time in the locker room, where he went after being ejected for a kicking major penalty.

At 17:26, offsetting penalties were charged against Ivan Huml and Brian Sipotz, putting both teams at four-on-four. Shortly after, at 17:48, David Leneveu was whistled for a delay of game, earning Anthony Aquino a trip to penalty-land in his stead. This was followed a minute later by a boarding penalty on Aaron Dawson, giving the Bruins a four-on-two advantage.

As the penalties ticked away, setting up five-on-three hockey, Pierre-Luc Edmond, obviously disappointed he did not get himself a power-play goal, set out to change that. With only twenty-six seconds left, he scored his tenth of the year to wrap up the 4-2 victory and close Jordan Sigalet within fifteen games of even-keel hockey.

The Baby Bruins celebrated the victory like it was something they rarely do - which it was - as they swept the game star categories and racked up three power play goals in the game. Of course, they had ten chances, so it was one of those "well, yeah..." type deals. The team travels to Pittsburgh for its next game.

Oleg Saprykin may see shrink

Unnamed sources say that Oleg Saprykin, the unsigned holdout winger the Bruins had continued to discuss contract with until recently, may have agreed to the terms the team set forth to continue negotiations.

Earlier this week, Boston Bruins General Manager Joshua Anderson revealed the team had requested that Saprykin receive an evaluation from a mental health professional. Until then, Anderson stated, all negotiations were suspended.

In a later, more casual, discussion, Anderson said the team was concerned about Saprykin's well-being. The player had been on a roller coaster wave of negotiations, had hired and fired several agents, and in fact, had fired Peyton Douglas - who he had hired only one week ago - for the services of a woman named Bobbi Boulders, who Saprykin claimed to have met "late the prior night", who convinced him to ask for his salary in all singles during contract negotiations.

"Obviously, Oleg went through a potentially traumatic experience. A plane he was on crashed, and while everyone survived, that leads to the plausibility of death. I don't blame him for going off-kilter," Anderson said. "Our first concern is Oleg's well-being. We've offered to pay for all initial evaluations, and are offering to work with the CLUTCHPA to set aside funding for additional analysis or treatment depending on the outcome. If he is fine, then we'll donate the funds to a home for mental well-being here in Boston. If not, then he is taken care of and we're paying the bills since we set up the situation. He will also have any of his own savings, and his CLUTCHPA pension to live on. But right now, he won't go, so we can't move forward."

Asked if the team is still considering offers for Saprykin, Anderson stated that they would, but that the offers had slowed lately. "We rejected some silly offers before, all of which were lowballs because he 'wasn't signed.' But that's just stupid, since they would have signed him, then traded for his rights. So, who knows what will happen. Again - we're looking out for Oleg. Our hockey club is performing just fine - well, not lately - without him."

Calls to Ms. Boulders went unanswered, but a man named "Joey Nonose" said - and I present this phoenetically for the full effect - "Yeah, dat funny tahkin dude's bin roun lately. Nize enuff, I gess, ef you'd cuhd undahstandz 'em. Hes and Bobbi went ahn ahf to that Doc, yaz know?"

While Joey Nonose apparently believes Oleg Saprykin and his "agent" may have gone to the psychiatrist, the head of the CLUTCHPA says that Saprykin will not be subjected to an evaluation, in the name of precedence.

Troubled defenseman causes issues on flight

As the Boston Bruins trekked up the Atlantic coastline from Tampa Bay to Carolina, meeting their third consecutive Act of God squad (the Avalanche, Lightning, and next, Hurricanes), the charter flight was forced to make an emergency landing in Atlanta, Georgia.

Details were sketchy, but sources close to the team indicated one of the team's defensemen was in a foul mood while boarding the plane and threw his cellular telephone out the doorway before departure and cursing several of the team's younger players. While the reports from the team declined to name any names, the player in question allegedly consumed a fifth of liquor, then became violent.

The plane landed in Georgia, where all of the defense was transferred to a bus for the remainder of the trip. A second source from the team claimed this was done to protect the individual's identity - the defensemen are obviously the largest core of the team, so when word got out, it would be a wider pool to choose from.

No word on exact damage was reported by the airline, but a spokeswoman for the company said that the matter had been addressed and handled without additional incident.

All faces of the Bruins have clammored up about the situation.

Lightninged!

What the hell is with the nature theme for the Bruins opponents lately? And why is Mother Nature such a bitch against the Boston club lately?

After being buried by the Avalanche 4-2, the Boston Bruins flew cross country to Tampa Bay for another match up against the Mario Lemieux-led team. While Lemieux would not be a factor at the end, the results were once again the same - a loss for the Bruins.

The Lightning struck first (no pun intended) as Steve Sullivan - a Boston name if ever there were one - beat Raycroft at 05:18 off a Mario Lemieux laser pass. The 'Bolts then put the screws to the Bruins, with Ossi Vaananen and Jeff Jillson thugging up with matching highsticking penalties in the next five minutes. Fed up, Bill Guerin hooked Lemieux, sending him sprawling to the ice, for which he earned two minutes of rest.

Vaananen again thugged up, penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct as he retaliated on the Bruins at 13:50, and a mere twenty seconds later, Matt Cullen earned a double minor misconduct for boarding to extend the Bruins' power play. Finally, Keith Tkachuk capitalized, scoring his thirteenth goal of the season when Martin Havlat set him up for the dump goal at 17:56 to tie the game at one.

Thirty seconds later, though, the tie would be broken as Mario Lemieux left Andrew Raycroft dumbfounded as The Magnificent One has been known to do. The game went to the first intermission with the Lightning up, 2-1.

The two sides came out full of piss and vinegar - but not offense. With the home club taking the shooting lead, twelve to nine, the offensive attempts were normal, but the connection with the back of the net was lacking. Neither team scored in the period, and the only real action came courtesy of of several roughing penalties. The arena collectively held its breath when Mario Lemieux tripped over the red line, injuring himself to the point of leaving the game.

It was another round of roughing and highsticking in the third period, as there were five penalties whistled during the period, with the tide going in the Lightning's favor three-to-two. Matt Walker earned his obligatory penalty, a five minute major for highsticking, which set off yet another Ossi Vaananen roughing call in retaliation.

Among the bloodshed, though, Keith Tkachuk somehow managed to score his second goal of the game, and only fourteenth of the year, to knot the game two-up at 12:34 of the period.

The game entered the overtime period with the Bruins down a man after Zdenek Kutlak's unsportsmanlike conduct call at 19:36. The defense fought off the power play effort, but then was caught with their pants down on a line change, as Kyle Calder scored the game winner just past two minutes into the period.

As is becoming the Bruins' road trend, the 16,948 home town fans went home happy, seeing their club win the game and take all three game stars, as Kari Lehtonen moved to 10-8-0 on the year, stopping twenty-seven of twenty-nine shots he faced.

With their second loss in as many games, the club will slouch their way up the coast line to meet the Carolina Hurricanes.

A River(s) runs through... the park

"I can contribute... but they won't let me. Matt Walker skates, and I sit. What the hell?"

These are the slightly bitter words of Jamie Rivers, Boston Bruins holdout defenseman. And they are not entirely unfounded - Rivers has been a slightly more consistent defenseman than Walker has over the last two seasons.

"Anderson touts and drools over a runaway Russian, but then ignores me. What gives with that? Oleg is allowed into the training center for light workouts, but they ban me because I am not under contract? Well neither is he!!!"

Rivers becomes more agitated as he discusses the matters - he did not accept the Bruins' contract offer in the offseason, so he is a restricted free agent. He expected to see some action in the open market, but the right to pay compensation for a low-disciplined, middle-ranged talent thirty year old defenseman was grossly undervalued by the rest of the league. As a result, Rivers sat.

With the holdout, Bruins General Manager Joshua Anderson decided, somehow, this was a personal issue. He has not spoken to or of Rivers since he refused to sign the contract, and once again declined to issue any meaningful comment about Rivers beyond "[Bleep] Jamie Rivers" and slamming the phone.

Rivers believes he still has the skills to contribute as defensive depth to a team. "I recognize that I am no longer a top defenseman. But a fifth, sixth, seventh man? A guy who can fill in when you need to juggle lines from injury? No doubt. Beyond all, I want to get my name on the Cup. That will not happen from my living room."

Avalanched!

It was slightly worse than being Hurricaned!, hence - the two exlamation points. Sometimes, no matter what you do, the cards just don't fall in your favor. That was the case in Denver for the Bruins 4-2 loss against the Hurricanes.

Despite outshooting the Avs by nearly a two-to-one margin in the first period, the Bruins could only connect twice on goal. Andy McDonald scored his twenty-second of the season at 07:27, fed by Martin Havlat and Keith Tkachuk, and Pierre Turgeon added the deuce six minutes later.

From there, the wheels fell off the trailer home.

Sean Brown picked up an elbowing penalty thirty seconds after Turgeon's goal, and then Martin Havlat got a cheap goalie interference call. Both times, an Avalanche player picked up an offsetting penalty to open the ice to four-on-four, but the Bruins could not capitalize, closing the period up 2-0.

In the second period, the rumblings began. With the team outshot eleven to seven, Andrew Raycroft ceded two goals, one each to Brad Isbister and Peter Forsberg, in the first six minutes. Again, the scoring stopped and the penalties began, but still, the Bruins could not play the power play to their advantage, leaving the game tied at two-all at the end of forty minutes.

In the third, the whistle happy ways continued, still going in favor of the Bruins. Two early penalties against Bryan McCabe and Matt Pettinger saw the Bruins waste four minutes, empty handed. At 08:48, Keith Tkachuk was whistled for a goalie interference call that Chuck Kobasew played to perfection, scoring one minute and thirty seconds into to take the lead.

At 15:57, Lee Goren was fed up and took on Darius Kasparaitis, but the two could only muster a fight to the draw. The extra room on the ice, though, allowed Adam Foote to skate untouched to the front of the net, accept a Joni Pitkanan pass, and score the fourth and final Avalanche goal at 18:31 to seal the victory.

The home crowd of 13,279 cheered for the win and the sweep of game stars, (Peter Forsberg, Adam Foote, Manny Fernandez). The Bruins tucked their tails in and headed for Tampa Bay, hoping to extract some revenge for earlier losses.

Oleg Saprykin again spotted in Boston

Oleg Saprykin, the enigmatic winger who remains on holdout from the Boston Bruins, has once again been spotted at the team's training facility.

Saprykin, recently cleared of all charges stemming from his faked-death incident, continues to refuse to give interviews, but his new agent, Peyton Douglas, reported to NBC-WGBH that Saprykin was merely engaging in some "visiting of friends and light skating, to maintain his multi-million dollar skills".

When asked what this return meant to negotiations, GM Joshua Anderson claimed to know nothing of the sorts. "We have expressed to Nadeau Sports Management that we will not return to negotiations until Oleg has been examined by a mental health professional. Given his near death experience, and the subsequent actions of evading authorities, friends, and family, we question whether Sapry is in a state to return to the ice. Will he be, like Pink sang, a hazard to himself? If so, we may shy away from that liability. Will he be an missile of doom and destruction to the opponents? Then we're willing to talk. Will he be the same Sapry from last year? Then we need to consider these things. It's all subjective to that evaluation."

When told of Peyton Douglas, the new agent for Saprykin, Anderson unleashed a string of profanities often seen in this reporter's favorite pub, but rarely in a professional setting. Anderson clammed up at that point, saying only he was disappointed that Saprykin chose to change representation.

High-octane Flyers grounded by Boston

Despite outshooting the Adams Division-leading Boston Bruins by a three-to-two margin, the offensive-minded Philadelphia Flyers fell well short of defeating the Boston club when they dueled in Philadelphia.

In the first period alone, the Flyers attempted fifteen shots on goal but managed to connect on just one. Amazingly, there were no penalties in the period, so the Philly offense just set up shop on the visitor's side and hang out for twenty minutes, slapping pucks at Andrew Raycroft. Dennis Seidenberg was the only one to beat him though, at 03:57 of the period, a goal which tied the game at one all. Boston had broken the goal scoring open less than one minute into the period on Lars Jonnson's tenth of the year.

The second period was a more balanced effort, as both teams took ten shots at the net. However, the Flyers struck goal to take the lead, 2-1, when George Laraque fed Michael Schutte at 06:35. The Flyers took that lead to the lockerroom at the end of the period.

The Bruins, though, sprung to action as the second period began. Matt Walker started a brawl with Derian Hatcher that he would ultimately lose, but it spurred life into the Boston representatives. Bill Guerin scored less than a minute later off a Tim Connolly frozen rope, then the two hooked up again to take the lead at 04:11. The Flyers attempted to slow things down and grind the Bruins to submission, but Andy McDonald had none of it, scoring the power play goal at 14:06 to extend the lead to 4-2.

Bill Guerin, showing his giving nature, returned the favor to Tim Connolly, setting him up for the final tally of the game at 15:16. The Bruins took home the 5-2 win - Raycroft's twenty-sixth of the year - and all three game stars, with Guerin, Raycroft, and McDonald sweeping the honors as they prepared to trek to Colorado and face the mighty Avalanche in their next effort.

Rangers Trade Kronwall for Malik

Niklas Kronwall's stay in New York was a brief one. The speedy young defenceman played just 3 games, added one assist, threw one hit and had four shots on net before finding himself on a charter to Pittsburgh.

A stunned looking Kronwall was unflinching of his criticism of the Rangers organization. "This franchise is crazy," he said. "When they picked me up Burns called me in his office and sat me down and told me how I was the future of the franchise yada yada yada. Now I'm gone a week later. People are being poisoned...I'm sure the GM is on drugs, good riddance. I thought I was coming to a good team but no one in the dressing room talks to one another and I haven't seen the coach outside of game time yet. (expletive delted) them."

Marek Malik was reached by phone and was clearly less enthused than one might have expected from a player moving from a borderline playoff team to one that is comfortably in the playoff picture.

"Gee... New York. Sure I'm happy. I mean who wouldn't be. It's a great organization right. They've assembled a good team over there. Hmmm... it'll be fun. Aren't people being poisoned over there?"

When queried as to why he made the move so soon after picking up Kronwall GM David Burns pointed to Maliks physical presence.

"Malik hits hard and clears people out from in front of the net. Sure, he can't skate but he'll be a very valuable depth player. Kronwall...well he was fast but what else was he doing for us? We could have waited for 3 years for him to develop but we're in a position where we feel we have a shot at going deep in the playoffs and Malik will add toughness and make it even harder to score on our already league leading defence. Malik has some more experience and leadership and is known to be a quality individual. Quite frankly I wasn't impressed with Kronwall's work ethic or attitude. So in his own words: (expletive deleted) him.

KLESLA MAKING MOST OF STORMY SEASON

Carolina

When the Hurricanes acquired young defenseman Rostislav Klesla, they did so expecting to be an upgrade from their former defender Mattias Ohlund. What they did not expect was how quickly the rather large defenseman would figure out the Carolina offense.

"The kid has one of the hardest shots I have seen in some time," pointed out head coach Joel Quenneville. "He has a knack to get it on net and from there, it seems the guys are able to bang away and get us some goals. Ohlund was a great guy and he tried, ,but he just never fit in. Klesla seems to have it all figured out."

Klesla, 23, buried his second goal in 5 games to go along with his 2 assists. Those totals have come quickly for the defenseman but he does not feel any additional pressure.

"I was brought in to learn the game and to provide offense," said Klesla. "I play with Kay McKee and he likes to point out the finer details I miss. I think this will be a great opportunity for me to be creative and learn from one of the best defensive guys out there."

Mckee also agreed that the situation is a good one.

"He wants to learn," said McKee, who is now with his third defense partner of the season. "Kless seems to understand his role in the grand scheme of things. Offense is good, but you gotta take care of your own business. I like that he likes to learn."

CANES AND FLYERS SWAP FORWARDS

Carolina

In an expected move, the Canes sent forward Marian Cisar to the Philadelphia Flyers in exchange for two way forward Alyn McCauley.

McCauley, 28, comes to Carolina with the reputation for being a defensive minded forward with offensive upside. The likelihood is that McCauley will find himself on the left side of Kris Draper along with rugged winger Matt Bradley on the Canes checking line.

"Adding Alyn opens up a lot of options for us," said head coach Joel Quenneville. "He really has no weaknesses in his game and he does everything pretty well. We know he does not have the offensive upside of Cisar, but we liked the total package he brought to our organization and feel he will fit in better."

While Cisar had been productive in his short time with the Canes, the thought was that the young winger was far too aggressive and ended up costing the squad too many times with undisciplined penalties. While his stay was short, his penalty minutes were exceptionally high.

"That was a factor, of course. With Alyn, we have an option that is more composed."

Look for Alyn McCauley to make his Canes debut on Friday.

Capitals Outscore Jackets

The Washington Capitals moved into eighth palce in the Wales Conference on Day 135 after a 5-3 victory over the Columbus Blue Jackets. Washington's record is now 29-28-11.

Columbus opened a 1-0 lead midway through the first period on Halpern's goal from Berglund and Roest at 10:33, but the Caps answered just over two minutes later to tie the game. Patrick Marleau got the goal for the home team from Mikael Renberg and Zigmund Palffy at 12:55.

Washington opened its first lead of the game late in the second period when Radoslav Suchy netted from Palffy and Anson Carter at 14:41. After getting outshot 9-7 in the first 20 minutes, the Capitals held a 10-7 advantage in the second.

The Caps seemingly took control of the game in the final period with a pair of goals just 1:41 apart. Palffy got the first from Renberg at 8:56, before Andy Sutton tallied from Greg Watson and Jonathan Cheechoo at 10:37. The Blue Jackets rallied to pull within one goal after Lyashenko and Vyborny scored in less than two minutes. Lyashenko's marker came from Berglund and Harrison at 12:38, while Gleason and Melichar assisted on Vyborny's goal at 14:16. The Capitals turned up the heat after the Columbus comeback, and Frantisek Lukes put the game out of reach when he scored from Artem Chubarov and Dan Boyle at 17:01.

Manny Legace made 18 saves to earn the win for Washington and improve to 23-23-8. Dan Blackburn stopped 22 shots in the loss for Columbus and fell to 22-39-8. Arturs Irbe made two saves in relief.

The Capitals return to action on Day 137 in Atlanta.

Investigators Probe Rangers

The New York Rangers have spared no expense in investigating the poisoning issues their team has been facing.

"We will find out who did this, mark my words!" growled a surley General Manager Burns at a press conference this morning. We have hired several crack teams of investigators and will leave no stone unturned. We will stop at nothing to bring justice to this person or people who have commited this despicable act."

"We have contacted the FBI, the RCMP, local law enforcement, and the military. We will get to the bottom of this."

Burns then went on to introduce several key law enforcement officials who were heading up the investigation.

"Please allow me to introduce Detective Mac Taylor of New York's Crime Scene Investigation unit. Detective Taylor specializes in using the latest scientific technologies, keen detective work, and a fearsome scowl to find, capture, and frighten his adversaries.






"This incident has international overtones and so, we've been in contact with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police who have sent us their best man. Please allow me to introduce Dudlye Do-right. He has a reputation for always getting his man. I'm told he's saved several damsels from train tracks and I've been told that he has was instrumental in the capture and incarceration of the infamous criminal genious Snidley Whiplash."





"Due to the military applications of this rare poison we have contacted the military who have sent us, they assure us, the most determined and hard working man in fatigues. Please allow me to introduce Sgt. Slaughter. He has been involved in battling Cobra - an evil terrorist organization determined to rule the world. His main weapons are his brawn, his whistle, and a penchant for yelling."






We've also contacted the FBI who have sent us agents Scully and Mulder. They specialize in hard to track cases. I had a long conversation with Mulder but didn't really understand his mumbling. I could have sworn he said something about Aliens but that seems a little far fetched. Scully is rock solid in the sciences and Mulder has, I've been told, high intelligence and an intense drive to discover the truth. They will be heading up the Federal Investigation into this matter."




"We have no doubts these teams will have a culprit under lock and key shortly."

Rumor - Bruins GM rushed to hospital

Unconfirmed reports from Kernersville, North Carolina report that paramedics have been dispatched to the Comfort Suites to resuscitate a guest of the hotel, ultimately transporting him to a nearby hospital.

A chambermaid at the hotel told one reporter on the scene that the guest was found, slumped over at his desk, with the CLUTCH Junior standings page open. Highlighted on the page was the row reading "BOSTONJr - W2"

Speculation has indicated that the guest may be JB Anderson, the General Manager of the Providence team. Other reports and files found on his desk indicate this may have been a result of shock. A half written Word documented expressed the words "unfound joy" and "sheer amazement that the piece of shit Jordan Sigalet could actually block more than just his teammates' ability to score with local waitresses."

Junior Capitals Top Toronto

The Washington Junior Capitals scratched out a 2-1 victory over the Toronto Junior Maple Leafs on Day 131 to keep its slim playoff hopes alive. Washington is now 27-31-8 and four points out of the final playoff spot.

The game started with a bang as Branko Radivojevic dropped the gloves and fought the Leafs' Heid to a draw after just 40 seconds. Patrick O'Sullivan then gave the Caps a great start when he scored from Matt Maglione and Maxim Orlov at 4:09. Toronto battled back to tie the game 9:40 later on Slater's goal from Reitz and Seikola.

With the game tied 1-1 entering the final period, Washington brought out the defensive game and held Toronto to just seven shots. Mikhail Kuleshov made the strong play pay off when he scored the winning goal from Radivojevic and Jakub Cutta at 5:56.

Robert Muller made 31 saves to earn the win and improve to 2-0-1. Dimitri Patzold stopped 20 shots for Toronto in the loss.

The Junior Capitals are off on Day 132 before hosting Pittsburgh on Day 133.

Sens squeak out win, Look for 1st Round pick!

The Ottawa Senators snuck 2 points away from the Habs last night with their '#1' goalie on the bench. Fred Brathwaite got the start last night for the tired Roman Turek. Fred stopped 29 of 31 shots in the effort and was the main reason for the Sens victory.

Goals came from relative unknowns like Nikita Alexeev who had points on the night. The Sens held the Habs to just 3 shots in the second period to show their complete dominance and they were playing the game that Schmucky has wanted to see all year, "I like what's happening on this team as this season winds down. The young guns are producing, like Bouchard who has had 2 goals in his last 2 games), Whitney, Holmqvist and Novak are all having excellent seasons. We will have to address our goaltending in the offseason and we hope to bring a couple young guns up to fire up the offense. Otherwise, our play will improve and we will compete next season."

Meanwhile, the Senators are still looking to pick up that 1st round pick they have been looking for. They have a lot to trade and are willing to include one or two of their other picks in the package to juice up the deal a bit.

Capitals Host Blue Jackets

The Washington Capitals try to get over .500 for the first time since being 10-9-3 when the Columbus Blue Jackets come to town on Day 135. Washington is 28-28-11 and one point out of the playoffs.

Dynamic winger Zigmund Palffy leads the Caps with 23 goals and 37 assists for 60 points. Anson Carter has 25 goals and 25 assists, while Patrick Marleau adds 18 goals and 31 points to the attack. Mikael Renberg (45), Frantisek Lukes (43), and Todd Warriner (41) are also contributing with more than 40 points each.

On defense Rob Blake has six goals and 34 assists for 40 points. Bryan Berard is also playing well with 11 goals and 17 assists, while Dan Boyle adds 26 points.

In goal, Manny Legace is 22-23-8 with a 3.26 GAA and .881 save percentage. Backup Peter Skudra is 5-5-3 with a 3.02 GAA and .891 save percentage.

The Blue Jackets are led by a pair of forwards with more than 50 points. David Vyborny has 24 goals and 30 assists, while Christian Berglund has 25 goals and 25 assists. Cory Stillman adds 41 points, and Jeff Halpern is chipping in with 40 points.

On the blue line, rookie Tim Gleason has 13 goals and 26 assists to lead the way. Martin Hohener is also playing well with five goals and 33 assists, and Deron Quint adds 34 points to the attack.

Between the pipes, Dan Blackburn is 22-38-8 with a 3.36 GAA and .881 save percentage. Backup Arturs Irbe is 0-1-0 with a 4.50 GAA and .861 save percentage in 16 appearances.

Capitals Edge Canucks

Bryan Berard scored a goal and added an assist to lead the Washington Capitals to a 3-2 victory over the Vancouver Canucks on Day 134. The victory moved Washington back to .500 at 28-28-11 and one point out of the playoffs.

Vancouver got off to a good start in the first period when Bertuzzi scored his 30th of the season from Lang and Salei on the power play at 5:12. Berard was in the penalty box for elbowing at the time of the goal. Washington battled back to tie the game just over nine minutes later on Patrick Marleau's goal from Rob Blake and Michal Rozsival at 14:28.

The Capitals turned up the heat in the second period, outshooting the Canucks 11-8. Mikael Renberg made the advantage pay when he netted from Zigmund Palffy and Berard at 17:33 to give Washington a 2-1 lead.

Vancouver tied things up midway through the final period when Walker tallied from Conrory at 11:49, but Berard's goal from Blake and Anson Carter at 16:41 proved to be the game-winner for the Caps.

Manny Legace made 26 saves to earn the win and improve to 22-23-8. Alexander Auld stopped 25 shots for Vancouver in the loss.

The Canucks return to action on Day 135 against Columbus.

Sens split home and home with Oil

The Ottawa Senators played a home and home series versus the slippery Oilers from Edmonton.

In game one, the Senators came out FLYING, scoring 4 goals in the first 7 minutes of the 1st period. All of these goals were scored by different contributors, most notably, Petr Nedved notched his 25th of he season!

The 2nd period was all Oil as they notched 2 goals to add to their late 1st period goal and pull within one. But, Petr Nedved wouldn't allow the Sens to lose this one. He notched his 26th of the season midway through the 3rd to put the game out of reach for the Sens!

The second game of the series was a disaster for Ottawa. In period one, Fata scored and Morrison put away his 27th goal of the year to give the Sens a 2-0 lead going into the 2nd. Nedved's 27th of the year was sandwiched in between two Oiler goals in the 2nd to keep the Sens in front 3-2 going into the 3rd.

However, the third was a different story. Turek allowed 3 goals on just 6 shots to start the period before giving way to Fred Brathwaite who allowed 2 goals on the next 9 shots as the Sens lost 7-3 to the slick Oilers!

The Sens hope for a better result at home against the Canadiens tonight!

Junior Capitals Fall to Stars

The Washington Junior Capitals fell to the Dallas Junior Stars 4-3 on Day 129. The loss drops Washington to 26-31-8 and six points out of the playoffs.

Washington got off to a good start in the opening period when Lance Moynch scored on the power play from Sean Kotary and Sean Bergenheim at 9:24. The Caps outshot Dallas 11-8 in the period.

After a scoreless second period, Washington went ahead 2-0 early in the third on Ivan Baranka's goal from Moynch and Cory Urquhart at 2:27. The Stars battled back to score three goals in under four minutes to take the lead. Taticek got the first from Sannitz and Umicevic at 6:13. Chernov tied the game from Ott and Blazek on the power play at 7:09, and Umicevic gave Dallas a 3-2 lead when he scored from Taticek and Vannelli at 10:03. The Capitals tied the game just eight seconds later on Bergenheim's marker from Patrick O'Sullivan and Matt Maglione, but Dallas got the winning goal from Vlcek at 13:55. The goal, Vlcek's 10th of the season, was assisted by Ott.

The final 20 minutes also saw a pair of fights as Fabien Laniel fought Barinka to a draw at 7:52, and Branko Radivojevic duked it out with Blazek at 9:56.

Brad Topping made 31 saves for Washington in a losing effort and fell to 14-22-4. Jason Bacashihua stopped 24 shots to earn the win for the Stars.

The Junior Capitals return to action on Day 131 against Toronto.

Rangers Pull off Blockbuster - Redux

This article was written and posted several days ago but due to a technical glitch the article did not appear. Here it is!

With allegations of poisoning swirling around New York it seems like Daniel Alfredsson might just be the anitdote to their cup drought.

The Rangers pulled of a surprising trade last night by sending sensational youngster Taylor Pyatt and super tough Tomas Kloucek to Calgary for veteran star Daniel Alfredsson, young speedster Niklas Kronwall, and defensive prospect Michael Stehlik.

"We are extremely happy to welcome Daniel Alfredsson to the New York Rangers," said a smiling Burns.

The GM has been raving about Taylor Pyatt for weeks now and was asked why he decided to move the youngster.

"Moving Pyatt was extremely difficult. We've been looking for a guy with game breaking talent for quite some time now and we know the Pyatt will be there soon. He's outstanding and we wish him all the luck in the world in Calgary. "


"Having said that, with the run our team is on we feel we have a legitimate shot at the cup this year and Alfredsson has not only the skills now but the experience and leadership to show our young players how it's done come playoff time. The great thing about Alfredsson is that with an NHL rerate he should improve dramatically next year and he has a 3 year contract for 2.8 million dollars. There are few days when you can add a star with experience and leadership who will improve without adding to your salary structure. This deal benfits us in the short and long term."

Another somewhat surprising move was the decision to ship out Tomas Kloucek who is currently the most physical player on the club, the defacto enforcer, and a member of the best defence in the league for speedy Niklas Kronwall.

"Kloucek has been good for us but decided to move grit for speed. We've been wanting to upgrade our foot speed on the back end for quite some time now."

Kloucek responded to being traded in typical fashion by taking a headbutting major in the second period of last nights game.

Senators Looking toward next season, Jr's still in 1st!

The Ottawa Senators are rumoured to be in the hunt for a 1st rd. pick in this years draft. As this season appears to be a disappointing one, GM Schmucky says otherwise, "we may not be in the playoff hunt or winning a lot of games but we've seen some promising things this season. We have developed a lot of our young players and they will continue to come along. If we pick up a few guys in FA to match Teemu's new found scoring touch, we should be good for next year."

Schmucky has been hunting for a 1st round selection in this years draft with hopes of landing yet another future star to play on the powerhouse junior squad.

Speaking of which, the Ottawa JR's have had a very strong season. This is yet another bright side to the Senators seemingly dismal season this year. The Jr's have put up great numbers and have definitely overachieved to this point. Bright spots that were expected were veterans Kiel McLeod, Christian Pollar and Tomas Plihal who all have performed very well. Surprise performances include winger Chris Kelley who has been the best scorer for the Jr. Sens in the 2nd half of this season and Alexander Semin who has been scoring and playing fantastic for an 18 year old rookie.

With a multitude of injuries continuing to plague the Sens JR squad, they have continued to hold strong in 1st place in their conference. If they can remain healthy come playoff time, LOOK OUT!


GOOO OILERS!

Capitals Tie Flames

The Washington Capitals outshot Calgary 41-29 on Day 132, but the club could only manage a 3-3 tie. The result moves the Capitals to 27-28-11, one point out of the playoffs.

Todd Warriner gave Washington a good start when he scored from Jonathan Cheechoo and Michal Rozsival at 13:13. The Caps fired 17 shots on goal in the opening 20 minutes.

Calgary tied things up very quickly in the second period on Pyatt's goal from Brind'Amour and Popovic after just 11 seconds. Washington regained the lead 5:38 later when Artem Chubarov scored his 15th goal of the season, but the Flames battled back to tie the game again. This time it was Cassels getting the goal from Gratton and Warrener at 13:31. Chubarov scored his second goal of the game just 48 seconds later to make it 3-2 heading to the final period. Radoslav Suchy and Dan Boyle setup Chubarov's second goal.

The Flames picked up its game in the final period, and Cassels got the critical goal from Kovalchuk at 13:32 to make it 3-3.

Manny Legace stopped 26 shots for Washington to move to 21-23-8. Johan Hedberg made 38 saves for Florida.

The Capitals return to home ice on Day 134 against Vancouver.

Capitals Bitten by Sharks

The Washington Capitals' five-game unbeaten run ended on Day 130 in a 4-3 loss to the San Jose Sharks. Washington is now 27-28-10 and two points out of the final playoff spot.

After a scoreless first period, San Jose opened a 1-0 lead when Niedermayer netted from Nagy and Carney at 6:41. Washington battled back with a pair of goals just 1:05 apart to take the lead. Artem Chubarov scored the frist from Anson Carter and Andrew Ference at 17:45. Todd Warriner made it 2-1 when he scored from Greg Watson and Jonathan Cheechoo at 18:50.

The Sharks took over early in third period with two goals to regain the lead. Hossa scored first from Nagy and Carney at 2:50, before Jagr notched his 30th of the season from Murray and St. Louis at 7:19. The Capitals tied the game just 1:05 later on Cheechoo's goal from Ference and Watson at 8:24.

The overtime session took a bad turn for the Caps when Dan Boyle was ejected for a spearing major after just 58 seconds. San Jose took advantage, and Carney netted the game-winner from Bonk and Gonchar at 3:56.

Manny Legace made 29 saves in the loss for Washington and fell to 21-23-7. JS Giguere stopped 25 shots to earn the win and improve to 37-24-5.

The Capitals return to action on Day 132 against Calgary.

Kissin' the Senators

Sure, it sounds like the Chandra Levy story, but it is not. It IS, however, the story of the Senators-Bruins game, which ended in a three-all tie, akin to, as Vince Lombardi said, kissing your cousin.

There is no actual confirmation of anyone taking the ice in the first period. There were no goals and no penalties, which seems hard to believe. Hell, there were only fourteen shots on goal for that matter.

The second period, the Bruins broke the ice when Andy McDonald scored his twentieth of the year, unassisted, on a power play at 04:58. The man advantage followed a Jim Fahey hooking minor. Two minutes later, Andreas Holmqvist notched his first of the year to reup the game at one.

There was much skating after that, but eventually, Lars Jonnson grew bored, and buried the puck after a Brian Rolston assist at 17:33 to put the Bruins up 2-1. Rolston was whistled two minutes later for cross-checking in what would be a costly penalty.

To open the third period, Tomas Kopecky would be called for hooking - again, still not part of the Chandra Levy story - to give the Senators a five-on-three advantage. Twenty-seven seconds later, Brendan Morrison left Andrew Raycroft dazed and confused, beating him five-hole to knot the game at two.

At 7:24, Kopecky managed to get boxed up again, setting the stage for the final Senators goal of the night, Petr Nedved's twentieth of the year, a power play effort at 08:49.

Despite the Bruins apparently lack of concern - they took only six shots in the period, mostly due to the penalty killing effort they had to put forth - Martin Havlat managed to tie the game at three apiece at 10:29. There would be no more scoring in the period, though, and the two teams squared off for Oooooooooovertime. There, the Bruins finally mustered a bit of offense - outshooting the Senators four-to-one - but neither time found the backside of the net with the puck.

Despite the three-up score, the Bruins swept the game stars (McDonald, Havlat, Jonsson), as 13,168 fans went home slightly disgruntled.

Junior Capitals Fall to Chicago

The Washington Junior Capitals outshot the Chicago Junior Blackhawks 41-26, but it wasn't enough as the Hawks skated to a 4-3 victory on Day 126. The loss drops Washington to 26-30-8, six points out of the playoffs.

Washington got off to a great start when Greg Mauldin scored his 15th goal of the season from Siarhei Kolasau and Maxim Orlov at 1:53. The Caps dominated the period with a 17-8 shots advantage, but the team only managed a single goal.

Chicago had a great second period, scoring four times to take control of the game. Luchkin started it off from Michalek and Vas at 0:45, and Rajmaki made it 2-1 when he netted from Kahnberg and Martin at 4:20. Michalek extended the lead to two goals just under eight minutes later off assists from Vas and Luchkin. Rajamaki finished it off on the power play from Malmivaara and Zeiler at 17:25.

The Caps battled back to make a game of it in the final period by scoring two goals. Branko Radivojevic got the first from Sean Kotary at 12:15, and Sean Bergenheim made it 4-3 at 16:11. Patrick O'Sullivan assisted on the goal. Washington fired 15 shots on the Chicago goal in the final period, but the club couldn't get the tying goal.

Brad Topping made 22 saves in the loss for the Caps and fell to 14-21-4. Craig Andersson stopped 38 shots to earn the win for Chicago and moved to 22-25-7.

The Junior Capitals return to action on Day 129 in Dallas.

The Defenseless West Side

Nobody knows what happenned, but the West end of the ice was like the Bermuda Triangle of Defense in the Bruins hosting of the Oilers.

Each time the teams switched sides, the team attacking the west goal went wild... while the other guys fell silent. Shot differentials were near even, but the period splits were Edmonton-Boston 7-10, 13-4, 2-13. Those in the horseshoe had a good time; those on the far end saw squat.

The Oilers actually did the east-siders the first show, as Jason Allison scored at 08:00 on a 4-on-3 powerplay after the Bob- Boughner-Richard Jackman 07:27 fight and a Lee Goren 07:55 roughing misconduct. It was Jackman's second fight of the game - really, at only seven minutes in - after fighting Keith Primeau to a draw, before being ruled the loser to Boughner and falling to simultaneous injury and ejection.

The Jackman penalties led to one of the more interesting lines of the year - 0-0-0, 20 PIM, 0 minutes ice time.

Peter Sykora led the Bruins' offense back to the far end at 12:50 when, fed by Sean Brown and Jochan Hecht, he scored his twelfth goal of the year on Nikolai Khabibulin. Pierre Turgeon joined the Red Light Brigade less than two minutes later on a Matt Hartigan and Fran Kaberle assisted goal, his fourth.

After Jean-Luc Grand-Pierre was penalized for an illegal crosscheck, Bill Guerin matched Allison in scoring his twenty-fifth goal of the year on the power play at 14:59 to put the Bruins up 3-1.

With the first period horn, the goals sealed shut. Despite another thirty-two shots on goal, Khabibulin and Raycroft stood on their heads, hands, and dicks, stopping everything that approached them in the next two periods. A smattering of penalties - almost split between the two teams - were all the excitement the fans would get for their $45.

Andrew Raycroft improved to 25-16-3 on the year as he stopped twenty-one of twenty-two shots on goal and claimed the top game star. Bill Guerin and Peter Sykora joined him in the Molson Celebration as the Bruins regrouped themselves to host the Senators two nights later.

Penguins firing on 7 of 8 cylinders!!

The Panguins have comeon strong when the most needed it leaping into the Stanley Cup playoffs. Going back to day 124 when the Devils defeated them 7-4, the Pens came back strong. The matchup in Pittsburgh went to the Pens 5-4 and then another strong outing defeating the Sabres 4-3. A tought 4-0 loss against the Blackhawks gave the tema a ton of energy and the next night they went out and shutout the Coyotes 4-0. Patrick Elias hit his 22nd goal of the season against Patrick Lalime who surprisingly is struggling this season. The Next 5 games are against the Buffalo Sabres(24-37-5), the St. Louis Blues(33-28-4), The Leafs(28-30-7), The Rangers(36-23-7) and the Canadians(27-36-2)

Ducklings kill Baby Bruins?

Well that don't seem like the Mutual of Omaha way of things... but alas, it is true. The Junior Ducklings of Anaheim knocked off the Providence Baby Bruins in a 4-3 victory. Providence is used to these one goal losses as long as Jordan Sigalet has been in goal, but they are always tough to take.

Once again, Providence struck first - and quickly - when Pierre-Luc Edmond beat Michal Lanicek at 00:34 for his eighth goal of the season. Despite such a prodigious start, the Bruins would see things fall apart on their home ice quickly.

In the next fifteen minutes, seven penalties would be called - five on the Bruins - as Providence went into attack mode - literally. Earning penalty time for cross checking (Paul Gaustad), roughing (Milan Jurcina and Shaone Morrison), fighting (Roman Vopat, who beat down Scott Lynch in such fashion that Lynch left the game and Vopat was ejected), and unsportsmanlike conduct (Jake Taylor), the Bruins gave the Ducks ample power play opportunity.

With the ice cleared for four-on-three hockey after Vopat's fight and Taylor's penalty, the Ducklings flapped their wings and shook their tailfeathers on the powerplay, as Pierre Parenteau scored his tenth goal of the year at 14:21 to know the game at one, where the score would stay through the break.

In the second period, Maxim Rybin struck early as well, catching Sigalet off-guard - not hard, mind you - to score at 00:53. After a Jiri Jakes elbowing minor gave Anaheim the five-on-four advantage, Rybin returned to the net for a power play goal, his fifteenth of the year and second of the night at 05:06 to put the visitors up 3-1.

The Baby Bruins went into catch-up mode, trying to attack the net. In a flurry of activity, Jaarko Harikkala - which would be Alakkirah Okraaj backwards, right Harry? - managed to poke the puck past Michal Lanicek to close the game to 3-2 with eleven minutes remaining in the second period.

Alas, the perfect storm was more of a whistlewetter, and all the offense would cease. The Baby Bruins managed only nine shots in the period despite an extended power play following Pierre Parenteau's roughing call at 17:22 and would retreat to the locker room still down a goal.

Rested for the third period, though, Ivan Huml continued the quick strike tone of the game, scoring an unassisted goal reminiscent of Eric Daze's one shining star play, beating Lanicek stick side on a breakaway at 00:43 to tie the game. The glee would be shortlived, though, as after Jiri Jakes was called for another penalty - cross checking, this time - the Ducklings capitalized on yet a third power play goal at 03:12. Travis Roche took advantage of Sigalet like a drunk seventeen year old, faking him out til he fell down to notch the game winner.

The remainder of the game featured two more power play opportunites for Providence, who could do jackshit with them. In fact, the team took only six shots on goal in the period as they fell, 4-3.

Special teams were the name of the game - Anaheim scored three of their four goals on the power play, and killed all five Boston opportunities to claim the win. Maxim Rybin claimed the first game star, and Lanicek improved to 22-21-7 on the season.

Capitals Top Thrashers

Bryan Berard scored two goals on Day 129 to lead the Washington Capitals to a 4-3 victory over the Atlanta Thrashers. The win moves Washington to .500 for the season at 27-27-10. It's the first time the Capitals have been at the .500 mark since being 11-11-3.

Frantisek Lukes gave Washington a good start when he scored on the power play from Jonathan Cheechoo and Artem Chubarov at 6:02. Berard then scored his two goals in a 10 second span to make it 3-0. The first was unassisted on the power play at 12:53, and the second came from Zigmund Palffy and Patrick Marleau at 13:03. Atlanta pulled a couple goals back through Bahen and Petterstrom to make it 3-2 at the break. Steeves and Kidney assisted on the second goal.

The Caps got the lead back to two goals early in the second period when Anson Carter netted his 25th of the season from Michal Rozsival at 4:47. The Thrashers responded with a goal from Sellars at 6:41, but it would prove to be the final marker of the game. Leboutillier and Murray assisted on the goal.

Peter Skudra stopped 12 shots to earn the win and improve to 5-5-3. Michael Garnett made 20 saves in the loss and fell to 8-47-7.

The Capitals are back in action on Day 130 in San Jose.