Top Standing, Low Class

The New York Islanders may be top dog in the Eastern Conference standings, but they are the ass in the book of class. After being beaten down by the Boston Bruins in their last meeting, the Islanders arrived in Boston for the match-up tepid and slightly scared. So, they reacted the way any Long Islander would - with cheap shots and the intent to maim.

Martin Havlat put the Bruins on top in short order, beating David "My Bisch" Aebischer at 04:42. The Islanders immediately went into goon mode, unable to control their rage, and were whistled for a series of penalties, including a cross-checking minor for Shawn Bates, Steve Webb's unsportsmanlike conduct minor, and an unnecessary, ridiculous, and flat out wrong boarding cheap shot by a man who for two dollars would poke his own mother with an heroin-filled needle he borrowed from a dying AIDS patient with Hep-B, Denis Gauthier, on Andrew Raycroft at 19:59.

Gauthier was immediately ejected, but the damage was done and Raycroft was gone for the game. The Islanders had the advanatage they so desperately needed, given their gigantic lead on the rest of the Conference and the overall contention for the President's Trophy. Of course, GM Ryan Long sacrificed his dignity and manhood - and only after getting his wife to unlock both her hope chest and the little box she keeps them in so he could have them to play with for the night - in ordering the hit, but really, having gone all the years of his marriage without them, he knew they really weren't necessary.

The Bruins reeled from the loss of their goaltending leader. John Grahame, obviously not prepared for this, was beat three times in a five minute span in the second period, giving the hit squad from Long Island the lead they would never relinquish. Keith Tkachuk and Jochan Hecht added goals as they attempted to keep the Bruins in striking distance.

Michael Peca added the clincher at 02:35 of the third period as Raycroft - and seemingly, Grahame - watched helplessly as the puck skid across the goalline. Just for good measure, the Islanders were whistled three more times in the period for charging minors (though not in the same way Scott does...).

Bruins head coach Robbie Ftorek was exasperated after the game, mumbling repeatedly about the farcities. "Sure, the Islanders acted only on the guidance of the one who runs them, and ya can't fight City Hall... but really... how do we go oh-fer on the power play? Why did we take better advantage of the shots in the first period? Why the hell am I wearing this tie? Oh, god... I'm gonna get fired."

Raycroft will be evaluated tomorrow.