Matt Walker continues to be available

Like a grade school kid left out in front of the school while Mom smokes dick for crack money, Matt Walker continues to sit in his apartment, boxes packed, waiting to find out what team will want to acquire his services.

Walker, who has been available for trade ever since he returned from his season-threatening injury sufferred on the first day of the season, has been rumored to have been shopped to every team in the league. At various points, he was packaged with other players in a dumping deal, offered solo for draft picks or cash, and was once rumored to be outright released.

The Bruins cited Walker as a key to their plans to win the Lay's Krunchers Award when they enrolled in the plan before the season began. As a player who easily amassed more than two hundred penalty minutes last year, Walker seemed to be a shoo-in for the award. As the season began though, he was viciously assaulted by three Red Wings thugs during the opening game, and finally succumbed to defeat when a fourth joined the fray.

Since he missed nearly half the season - avoiding retirement, somehow - Walker was never in a position to win the award. Richard Jackman increased his thuggery, making him the Bruins leading candidate for the prize.

Upon his return from injury, the team was in the midst of an extended win streak, elevating them from cellar dwellars to the thick of the playoff race. Hoping to maintain chemistry, Futile Robbie Ftorek left Walker benched unless injuries or suspensions merited.

In a rare starting appearance late last month, Walker was able to notch a goal and an assist. The next night, though, he was humiliated by the Carolina Hurricanes - much like most other teams - and returned to the bench as a dreaded "DNP-CD".

GM Joshua Anderson continues to work the phones in an effort to deal Walker for an opportunity "he deserves", Anderson says. "We like and respect the hard work Matt put in to return this season. But when in position to contend, we have to do what is best for the team and set personal relationships aside. Matt Walker can fill an appropriate role on many a team out there - its just a matter of who will step up and make the offer."