Rangers GM Attempts Hostile Take Over Of Tampa Franchise

General Managers around the league fielded calls from GM Burns last night but were confused as he started offering players from the Tampa franchise.

"He told me he'd resigned from New York and had been hired by Tampa Bay," said Lohaus.

"I almost had Pavel Kubina coming to Los Angeles," said Pete.

"He offered me a great deal for Janne Niinima but then I realized he was offering players from Tampa Bay." said Kyle I asked him why he was offering players from the Lightning and he told me he was the GM of the Lightning. Then he hung up."

"He called me and told me he'd Tampa was sending Pavel Kubina to New York for Karel Pilar," said Longer. I asked him how that's possible since Tampa doesn't have a GM at the moment. He said he was the general manager of Tampa. I laughed and asked him who he'd made a trade with in New York then. He said he'd made the trade before he left New York. I told him first the league had not authorized him to run the Lightning and second that he was making no sense.

John Tortella was stunned to get a call from GM Burns insisting that he put Sami Kapanen on the first line. He related the bizarre sequence of events that followed.

"I asked him who the hell he thought he was calling me up and dictating my line up and then he told me I was fired. I laughed and told him he was crazy. Then he said "Come up to my office." I told him I didn't have time to fly to New York. He told me to come up stairs to OUR general manager's office. When I went up stairs he was sitting behind the desk smoking a cigar."

The police were eventually called and GM Burns was hauled from the building by four police officers screaming "Don't send me back to New York! I can't take it there any more! Don't make me go back!"