Bruins sense something slipping...

With the recent 2-6 skid, the Bruins have found their hold on the Adams Division becoming more tenuous at best, and as slippery as a baby-oiled stripper doing pole tricks on Jello Shot night at worst.

Oh, who the hell cares. Now you're all just thinking of strippers lathered in baby oil.

The team has become increasingly frustrated but has been unable to find any chemistry to re-gel the foundation which surged them as high as fourth in the standings at one point. Dreams of hosting a series have now been crushed to merely dreams of seeing hockey in August.

"We're hoping this break during Ryan Long's move will allow our squad to regroup. The fact that Earl Smokey has passed us up with the friggin Pittsburgh Penguins is mind-boggling to us." GM Joshua Anderson said. "We're basically worried about the state of our goaltender, since it looks like we can no longer just ride The Raycroft Express in to the postseason. We should have better managed his stamina, but as the Barenaked Ladies sang, its too little too late."

Further compouding issues are the imminent departure of Anderson to Europe on an extended business/scouting trip. "I do plan on scouting as much as I can, preferably in the brunette double-D category," he told one reporter. "But we'll have to see. I believe my assigned assistant is a skilled worker who should be able to make the trains run on time. And if not, well, we all know how Mussolini reacted if they did not."