Bruins respond and call out the Hurricanes

"We've received and reviewed the cash penalty assessed to us by the Esteemed League Offices, and basically, we'll deliver our penalty payment in all sorts of fun ways to them - perhaps in their beverage, as the "lettuce" on the sandwich, perhaps rectally... we'll keep it fresh and interesting for them," GM Joshua Anderson told press on Thursday.

"But more interesting than that," he continued, "is I believe I have figured out at least part of what contributed to our defeat - cheating."

A pall hung over the room as Anderson pulled out the stat sheet and called a video screen down from the ceiling. "Quite frankly," he said, "it's obvious. Even Steven A. Smith, who knows jack about hockey, could see it - the Hurricanes dressed and played nineteen players. They, simply, played dirty and outside the rules."

"We're not really surprised. Lohaus and Ryan Long are good 'friends', so it stands to reason both would be dirty. Long proved it with his orchestrated mafioso-style lynching three games ago, Lohaus just figured no one would say anything, and if they did, the Commish would cover for him. Well, this voice cannot be silenced!" Anderson shouted.

Quite ironically, the microphone cut out then.

A review of the stats for the night and game footage proved it to be true - the Hurricanes dressed twelve forwards (Wellwood, Stillman, Tucker, Dwyer, Draper, Cisar, Doan, Parker, Fisher, Bradley, Friesen and Brent) eight defenseman (Woywitka, McKee, Crain, Klesla, Colaiacovo, Eminger, Bell). Additonal fresh bodies would definitely boost a team, so it appears the Hurricanes were playing dirty.

"Why would a team as high and mighty - and certainly, as boastful as their GM is - stoop to such a cheap step, especially against a team it has owned all season? Perhaps the mighty Hurricanes have some chinks in the armor?", Anderson asked in a follow up conversation, continuing, "And how many other games have been won due to such underhandness? The Boston Bruins have formally requested an investigation by the league offices and are awaiting response, though they do not expect any to be forthcoming. It was always rare for the Kings to turn on his Eunech..."