Bruins dealing Tkachuk

News out of Boston reveals that the Boston Bruins have placed Keith Tkachuk squarely on the trading block, front and center in the Fleet Center foreground.

"Fact of the matter is - we're not very good. With the abysmal goal diffential from last year, the fifth most goals given up... we're just bad," GM Joshua Anderson told the Boston media. "So when things are this bad, the only logical thing to do is trade, trade, trade."

"So let the word go out - Keith Tkachuk will not be a Bruin by the opening of the season. In exchange, we expect a right winger and a defenseman, or two defenseman. And if there is any doubt how trade negotiations will go, I refer you to my pet peeve article below."

A few of the writers chuckled, remembering his basic rules - don't come saying "I want this player" and don't come saying "Look at my roster and tell me what you want."

"Man... nothing annoys me more than that crap. If you want a player, make an offer. You have your guidelines. Anyone who says 'check out my roster' will be ignored. And oh yeah - Go Bruins."