Friday, December 15, 2006

CANES SUCK, WHAT ELSE IS NEW

Carolina

After working on the power play heavily the past couple of days, the Canes received what they supposedly wanted. A goal scored on the Carolina power play. However, the Canes were still not happy.

What was the issue you ask?

It was a short handed goal against a group of five that looked like a bunch of amateurs.

"I think I have aged 10 years this past month," said head coach Joel Quenneville. "We practice hard, I think we are prepared and then they take the ice and it is like everything we went over just goes away. I really have no idea what else can be done with this group. They flat out refuse to play for 60 minutes and they seem to expect things to be handed to them. We are scoring just over 1 goal a game for god sakes. How the hell can you expect to win when no one is doing anything?"

The Canes, in fact, played so poorly that Quenneville left the game early in the third period after Mike Knuble scored a floater on Martin Brodeur.

"They are killing Independent Joel!"

Quenneville also threw a portable skate sharpener through a plate glass window located outside the dressing room and proceeded to blast profanities to whoever would listen.

"I cannot sit here and tell you that we can just keep working and things will get better," said Quenneville. "It has not happened yet. I look at this group of guys and wonder how any of them ever made it here. Joel is getting upset!"

The Canes continue their road trip with a quick swing to Columbus before finally retuning home. Chances are the fans of Carolina have stopped caring about this club and it will be interesting to see how the rest of this season continues to progress.

One thing is for certain, the Canes will not sit by and idly watch this club flop around. If things do not go well and soon, the Canes will unload some of their high end talent. The plan, as has always been, is to bring in the Team Canada Juniors, and if it means dumping off the stars of the current team, like Brendan Shanahan, Jeff Friesen and Janne Niinimaa, then so be it.

"You know, I used to have hair," said Quenneville. "This is killing me damn it!"

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