Boston signs hard-hitting sponsorship deal

Boston Bruins GM Joshua Anderson excitedly announced the team has signed up for participation in the Lay's Chips League Crunch-er Sponsorship Program. The Program gives $1,000,000 to teams that participate if they can have a player who attains two hundred forty or more penalty minutes.

If the player clears two hundred eighty penalty minutes, there is an additional two hundred fifty thousand dollar bonus in the sponsorship.

"We have little doubt," Anderson told the press, "that we will clear this requirement. Last year, Matt Walker had 324 minutes in the box, and he will be playing more minutes this year. So, we look forward to claiming this extra cash at season's end."