Bruins acquire wings to get out of violation

The Boston Bruins, in an effort to stay out of the doghouse of League Czar, Ryan Long - which is actually a doghouse off of the doghouse Ryan frequently resides in, courtesy of his lovely and beautiful wife - last night made a trade with Washington Capitals GM, John Henry.


Mike Peluso (not pictured at right... well, Mike Peluso is pictured at right, just a different one) will be joining the Boston farm team, as will Kevin Caulfield. Both are expected to be warm bodies to simply keep the team out of violation. "No disrespect intended," GM Joshua Anderson began his press statement, "but if we get to the situation where Mike Peluso and Caulfield are necessary to contribute to our well-being... well, then we're screwed, I'd say."

While donning the Bruin-head jersey, Peluso stopped cold as he heard the comment. "All due respect, Mr. Anderson," - which we all know means, no respect at all - "but I believe I deserve a spot on the Bruins roster, and I fully intend to prove it to you by tearing up all the other farm teams in CLUTCH til you have NO choice but to welcome me in the bigs. And when you do, I'll mushroom stamp you faster than Tom finishes in a warm, wet washcloth." Peluso then slammed his water bottle, and stormed out of the press conference, as Anderson smiled slyly.

"Motivation, my lad... motivation."