Bruins ink Wal-Mart deal

Boston Bruins GM Joshua Anderson was pleased to announce to the gathered media that the team has enrolled in the Wal-Mart Red Light Special Sponsorship Program. The Program awards $1,200,000 to teams that participate if they score, as a team, two hundred or more goals. There is a half million bonus if two hundred-fifty goals are scored by the franchise.

"Last season, the franchise scored 233 goals. We believe we have made improvements to the team that will allow us to improve and score even more - so the office and Robbie Ftorek believe that we'll clear the bonus 'goal' with no problems. And speaking of the quality products of Wal-Mart, don't I look sharp in my Faded Glory button down shirt? Now everyone grab a President's Cola on the way out of the room, eh?"